UnCivil Debate Discussing what we dont want to talk about.
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Ah, Australia. Land of golden beaches, venomous creatures, and a peculiar breed of human who still thinks it’s 1823. You know the type—the ones who speak in a vaguely British accent that’s been marinating in Shiraz for too long. The ones who clutch their pearls at the thought of someone parking in front of their house.
Australia was built by convicts is a popular saying and mentality here in sunny old Austraila. But, I say it was ran by jailors. Yes, we’re talking about the self-appointed aristocracy of the Southern Hemisphere, the ones who’ve inherited the “jailer mentality” and wear it like a badge of honour.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate these modern-day Tesla driving overlords, shall we? They’re the ones who’ve mastered the art of looking down their noses while simultaneously pretending to be “just one of the mates.” They’ll sip their flat whites at a café named after a London borough all while lecturing you on how you should be more “civilized.” Or better yet, how your kids are out riding their pushbikes too fast. Oh, the irony! It’s almost as if they’ve forgotten that their great great grandfather was likely shipped here for stealing a loaf of bread or deficating on the street. But no, now they’re the gatekeepers of propriety, the arbiters of who’s “worthy” and who’s just a “s*&t c&^t.”
And let’s not forget their impeccable sense of entitlement. Rules? Those are for other people. They’ll happily cut in line at the bottle-o, park in the disabled spot “just for a minute,” leave their car at the kiss and drop for hours, and then have the audacity to scold you for not letting them cut you off. It’s a special kind of talent, really—being able to demand respect while giving none in return. Bravo, old chap. Bravo.
But where does this delightful attitude come from? Well, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane. Australia was founded as a penal colony. It was a place where Britain dumped its “undesirables” and then handed some of them a clipboard and a whip. Fast forward a few generations, and voilà—you’ve got a society where some people still think they’re running a prison. The only difference is now they’ve swapped the shackles for passive-aggressive notes on the office fridge or local council group chat.
Of course, this isn’t just about bad manners or inflated egos. It’s about the generational trauma that comes from a history of oppression and inequality. The Indigenous peoples of this land have borne the brunt of this colonial hangover, enduring centuries of dispossession, violence, and systemic racism. And while some of them are busy pretending they’re the stars of a Jane Austen novel others are still fighting for basic rights and recognition.
So, what’s the solution? Well, for starters, maybe it’s time to put down the monocle and take a long, hard look in the mirror. The world doesn’t need more faux-aristocrats lording over the trade level “peasants.” It needs someone to give it a swift kick in the pants. You’re caught by the short bits now and we can see right through it, mate.
In the meantime, let’s raise a VB to the posh peasants of Australia. May they one day realize that being a decent human being is far more impressive than pretending to be royalty. Cheers!
